I’ve always expected that reaching the age of 18 will be the same as how we’ve gone through the earlier years of our lives. Just another year to experience. However, as the months progress this 2021, I’ve been noticing the frequent internal monologues that I have. Part of it is composed of me scolding myself for procrastinating. But most of the time, it’s the realizations that occupy the space in my thoughts.

It sure is strange but quite enlightening at the same time. And I consider it as part of God’s plan. I once was lost in this superficial world. Not giving a single care about the future. Always been that “happy go lucky” type of a person. But last year, the same month as today, I met people who have been continuously leading me closer to God. Mind you, it didn’t happen right away. I got to enjoy two physical fellowships with Youth Empowered Generals before the lockdown kicked in. During the first couple months, I never really thought much about God’s word let alone the people He sent to bring me back to Him. But as I exposed myself more into the ministry through online means, I realized the blessing that had come. I still remember how I cried on one of our breakout sessions, overwhelmed with gratitude. It was at that moment that I’ve convinced myself to stay.

Looking back, I’ve always wondered why God chose to make Himself known while I have the burden of being an SSG leader. And now, I see that it was both a trust and a test.

Our time on earth and our energy, intelligence, opportunities, relationships, and resources are all gifts from God that He has entrusted to our care and management.

Rick Warren, The Purpose-Driven Life

Having the opportunity to lead the youth is a gift that a lot of people receive but don’t cherish enough. Being able to grab that chance, I was glad with the achievement. But God must’ve known how weak I really was deep inside and so there He was, making me realize that everything in my life came from Him and must be used to bring back the glory He deserves. He trusted me. And hear me, if God entrusted you with something, make sure to pay it forward! (Like that kid in the 2000 movie with the same title)

God continually tests people’s character, faith, obedience, love, integrity, and loyalty.

Rick Warren, The Purpose Driven Life

Tests aren’t new to students like me. Even so, I won’t hesitate to say that God’s tests are the most challenging and life-changing of all. Meeting the Lord is easy but staying in His guiding light is the hardest thing to do. It might just be because of the way we are and how the world works. But a challenge is not a challenge if the struggle is not there. That is how I feel up to this moment but I won’t stop seeking Him and keeping His promises in me.

All of these are just fragments of all the things that I have realized in my 17th year of existence. And like the agent of knowledge that I am, the excitement to discover new things about life continues.

Here’s to a stronger and God-centered Rian on the 1st of June 2021!