If a stranger comes to you, saying that they want to end their life
What’s the right thing to reply?
If a child asks you what makes you smile
Will it be alright to tell a lie?
If teens share their identity crises with you
How do you put yourself in their shoes?
If adults belittle you in anyway
Is talking back really okay?
If an enemy seeks your forgiveness tomorrow
Where do we get the mercy to borrow?
If a friend leaves you hanging in the air one day
Will the friendship still be worth it today?
If a family suddenly leaves you behind
Do we have all the strength that we could find?
If a lover proposes to spend their life with you
Are you ready to settle and tell them “I do”?
If life gives you lemons, a bag or a sack
Will you make some lemonade or just give it back?
If death gives the power to decide to you
How would you feel and what would you do?
Back to Dust
Then shall the dust return to the earth as it was: and the spirit shall return unto God who gave it.
Ecclesiastes 12:7 KJV
The thought of death was once an extremely scary concept to me. A matter that I tried to ignore in the past. Maybe I was frightened of the idea of leaving everything behind in a single snap. Or perhaps I didn’t really care about it at all.
But that was then. My perspective had changed. Or still in the process of changing, I guess.
I now want to live long.
Long enough to fulfill my purpose.
Long enough to encourage people to accomplish theirs.
I hope to live long enough to be able to make even the slightest bit of positive change in this world.
However, if anything does happen to me beyond my plans. Be it accidental or destined to be, I’ll accept my fate. But there are a few things that I ask for those who’ll be left behind.
Don’t spend life weeping. Move on and treasure the moments we made and make more memories with people.
Don’t spend life in regret. Forgive yourself and replace that regret with actions meant for the ones that are still by your side.
Do look for the things you miss about me from the people close to you. Fill in that void.
Do lend a shoulder to those who are in sorrow. You know how it feels, you know what they need.
Don’t just pity or admire the life that I lived. Do learn from it to improve how you live.
And most importantly, I hope you see how God worked in my life. Remember it and use it to draw yourself closer to Him. Because, there’s nothing more that I can give you when my body returns to the ground. But I have the faith that I shared with you, the faith that I wish you would strengthen. Hold on to that and allow me to turn back to dust.
Banyuhay
Huwag mong pigilan ang pag-iibang anyo
Lahat dumadaan sa pagbabago
Tanda mo pa ba noong paslit ka pa lang?
Makulit, matakaw at mahilig maglagalag
Tulad ng malusog na uod na nakatambay sa inyong halamanan
Pero ‘di hamak na mas maswerte ka kaysa sa munting insekto
Mag-isa silang naglalakbay, ‘di tulad mo
May kapamilya, kaibigan o katukayo
At oo, alam kong mas kumplikado ang buhay ng tao
Ngunit hindi mo ba batid na tulad ng maliit na nilalang
Tayo rin ay nakararanas ng banyuhay
Isang mahalagang proseso sa ating buhay
Gaya ng kanilang pamamalagi sa isang bahay-uod
Ay ang simula natin sa mas malalim na pagkilala sa sarili
Nakakapag-isip, nakakapagmuni-muni
Pinaghahandaan ang paglipad sa malawak na mundo
‘Wag na nating ikaila
‘Wag na magpanggap
Hindi madali ang pagdadaanang pagsubok na ito
Kalilituhan ang tama sa mali
Mapapatanong kung katumbas ba ng bawat sandaling
Masusugatan, madudurog
Ang naghihintay na bukas
Baka pwedeng hanggang dito na lang
Dito sa loob ng kukun kung saan ligtas
Kung saan ‘di ko na kailangang lumabas
At harapin ang panganib ng mundo
Kaibigan, huwag mong pigilan ang pag-iibang anyo
Lahat dumadaan sa pagbabago
Sikapin mong makawala sa kinalalagyang kahon
Buksan mo ang isip sa kung ano ang nasa ngayon
Pahalagahan mo kung paano ka pinagtitibay ng panahon
Kilalanin mo kung sino nakasama mo simula noon
Tulad ng paru-parong inaalam kung paano lumipad
Hayaan mong ikaw ay unti-unting makibagay
At sa sandaling simulan mo ang iyong paglalakbay
Ika’y masabik at mag-ingat sa kung saan ka dadalhin ng iyong pakpak
Pocket Adventure
What’s the best way to travel?
When I asked this to my friends, there was a variety of answers. Some suggested walking. The others preferred to ride a vehicle. There’s a few who answered my question with another question. But none of them came close to what I had in mind.
As you may already know by now, I love to explore. But I can’t afford to visit places in person. Sometimes, I would tag along with my mother on her adventures but when that isn’t an available option, I go to the nearest book store. Now, this might be confusing for a lot of people however, I’m confident that bookworms know what I mean.
The image that you see contains some of the books that I have in my collection. These are my tickets. Would you believe me if I told you that all these are worth not more than 150 Philippine Peso? That’s because most of them were gifts from good friends and the rest are the ones that I bought. And oh! I only buy them on sale. Newly released ones are too much for my budget as a student.
Focusing more on these precious sets of paper, I’m reminded of the wondrous adventures I experienced. I’ve gone to places that no money can purchase (Probably ’cause they don’t exist hahaha). And I’ve met various people as I went. They gave me feelings of all sorts. I fell in love, wept and moved on. I even found myself pretending to be the world’s greatest detective at some point! What a treat indeed.
Books allow me to travel without having to spend so much. Without the hassle of transportation. Without the drama of getting lost. The best feature that I love about travelling by reading is the ability to pause the trip. When it gets a bit overwhelming, it’s always nice to have the option to take a break. Get your composure back before you continue. And boy do I absolutely like how my mind designs each character and setting! It really helps me to feel as if I’ve been sucked into the story like how the movies would show.
I say all of these but still, nothing beats an actual sense-engaging experience. It’s just that, pocket adventures serve as my go to stress-reliever whenever I start to miss the outside world. It is, in my perspective, the best way one can travel without the hassle.
Poot at Paglaya
Sino ka kapag ikaw ay galit?
Napopoot at may hinanakit?
Ngayong araw ay nasaksihan ko kung paano kinokontrol ng sama ng loob ang isang tao.
Wala namang nagbago, lumala lang. Kung dati’y masasakit na salita lang ang ibinabato nila sa bawat isa, bangko at matalim na gunting na ang aking nakita. Nakakarindi at nakakalungkot na makitang nag-aaway mga kasamahan mo sa bahay. Lugar na dapat nagpaparamdam ng pagmamahal at ligtas na akap. Unti-unting binabalot ng takot at pagkadismaya.
Ngayon ay malaki ang aking pangamba. Lalo na sa aking nakababatang kapatid. Kaya siguro ganon na lamang ang pag-iingat ko na hindi niya makita o marinig ang alitan na nakasanayan ko. Takot akong lumaki siya na palasagot at walang galang. Tulad ko noong ako’y bata at walang kamuwang-muwang.
Tunay ngang masakit ang sugat ng dati. Pansin mo ba kung bakit hindi agad naghilom ang sugat mo sa tuhod noong minsa’y nadapa ka? Kailangan ng mahabang oras at pasensya para gumaling ito. Kaya’t mahirap bigyang lunas ang sugat na paulit-ulit nating kinakalikot at inuungkat. Mahirap makulong sa rehas ng nakaraang patuloy nating binabalik-balikan. ‘Di ko man lubusang mabatid ang nasirang relasyon sa pagitan ng aking tiyahin at lola, matagal ko nang napagtanto na walang mabuting idudulot ang pusong ‘di marunong magpatawad. Hindi matutulungan ng panahon ang isang taong ‘di nakukuntento sa kung ano ang nasa kasalukuyan. At lalong mahirap baguhin ang taong lulong na sa mali at walang intensyong bumuti.
Sinong mag-aakala na ang masiyahin at malambing na ako ay lumaki pala sa isang tahanang madalas may bangayan. ‘Di ko rin lubos maisip kung paano ko napapanatiling matatag at makatao ang aking sarili. Ngunit alam ko na Diyos na ang nagbabantay sa aking nararamdaman. Kahit kailan ay ayokong balutin ng kasamaan ang puso ko. Hindi ko gustong mandilim ang paningin ko at makagawa ng bagay na pagsisisihan ko habangbuhay. At ito rin marahil ang hiling ko para sa lahat ng tao sa mundo.
Huwag mong hayaang lamunin at baguhin ka ng galit.
Huwag kang padadaig sa poot, palayain ang sarili mula sa hinanakit.
Ambiverted
I’ve always known myself to be the talkative type. The one with overflowing self-expression. I even got myself into trouble because of this outgoing personality.
However, people have told me about another side of mine that I, initially, wasn’t really aware of. A lot of my friends have told me that I would often stare off the distance for a worrying amount of time. I must’ve freaked them out big time to a point where one of them thought that I was bipolar. Kaloka! I have no mental disorders but I do enjoy having internal monologues. There are moments that I’d rather have my thoughts accompany me than having people to do it. I have moments when I don’t feel like talking at all. And I had only realized this recently. Only started to appreciate it not long ago.
But dang, it sure is strange! To be extra and conservative at certain times. I believe experts have a word for it. Ambivert? Is that the medical classification of my personality? Well, whatever it is, I’m okay with the way I am right now. I just hope to balance it well so people don’t mistake me for being two-faced.
More to Come
It’ll be countless!
The challenges that you face, they’ll keep coming. The struggles that you want to overcome will double as you go. Those problems given to you won’t stop to try and bring you down.
Because in this life, there’s a lot to experience. In this journey, there’s a lot to learn. So if it comes to the point where it seems impossible and unbearable, I want you to remember this:
His love is endless. His care is limitless.
We won’t always know the right things to say. We won’t always do the right moves to take. We won’t be able to choose all the right decisions to pick. But we have such a great God to carry our heavy burden. A mighty Lord who is forgiving and willing to guide those who seek Him.
So expect that there’s more to come your way but never forget that God is there to lead you to the right way!
First Time Flying
The white plane above continued to make its way through the clouds. I watched as it slowly disappeared from my line of sight, wondering when will I be able to ride one. But don’t get me wrong. It won’t be my first time flying when that day comes. My first experience happened along the highway. It was indeed an unexpected flight from the tricycle seat towards the middle of the road. My back still remembers the pain from that moment. And my whole body can’t forget the feeling of being suspended in the air. It was terrific!
It all started with a typical Monday morning routine. Waking up, eating breakfast and making your way to the school. There was nothing out of the ordinary even when I boarded
one of green tricycles waiting in line for students going to school. It takes roughly 15 minutes to get to the destination but this particular Monday didn’t want me to attend class.
The sun was slowly rising up as I watched from the back ride, uncomfortably sitting behind the driver. I was carrying a lot of stuff. Mostly donations for victims of the Taal eruption. However, being fully loaded with bags didn’t stop me from daydreaming like usual. I remember admiring the blue tint of my surrounding, reflected from the sky above. The relatively fast pace of the vehicle as it drove the first few miles of the trip. I didn’t think it was
dangerous at all because there were little to no other cars anyway. And of course, I was painfully wrong about this.
It literally felt as if someone abruptly pushed the forward button on a remote. One moment I was casually checking out the vast green plains on the other side of the road. Then I heard this strange sound as if someone had decided to scratch metal against another metal. It was nails on a chalkboard. Absolutely irritating. It did stop and next thing I knew, I
saw the world spin as I suddenly flew a couple of meters away from my seat. Life truly flashed before my eyes.
Shortly after landing on my face, reality struck as I felt the pain from each of my limbs. Especially my back. Embarrassing as it may be, the first thing that came out of my mouth was a loud and long groan. Right there, in the middle of the road. What absolutely horrified me were the agonizing shouts from the other passengers. This forced me to get up
on my feet.
“Kuya, tulong po.”, I weakly asked the motorcycle driver who by miracle, stopped just a few inches from me.
Being the Red Cross officer that I am, I accessed the situation and proceeded to help the others to the side of the road. Barefooted I did this for both my shoes also flew across the lane, so did all the stuff I had in my hand.
So much for my first flight. I never expected to take off from a tricycle but it happened. Fortunately , none of us were severely injured. A few stitches for the others and a
couple of days leave from school. The driver who rammed our vehicle toward a parked truck was taken care of by the authorities. And as for me, I now have this uneasy feeling everytime I ride tricycles. But I still am looking forward to flying in the future, hopefully in an airplane
Hidden Tears of the Silver Cloud
I see you.
The other day, I saw you passing by like nothing’s wrong. Like a cloud, just drifting in the sky on a sunny day. I see that you’re trying your best as you sail through life. You inspire me.
I saw you once more yesterday. You looked as if you’re carrying something heavy. You seemed more gray than usual, I think. You’re worrying me.
Today, you look strange. Gone was the white and fluffy cloud that I met the first time. You have the color of a silver cloud ready to pour on a rainy day. But why do you keep on carrying that heavy feeling? Why not let it out?
Don’t worry about me. I can bear the downpour, your downpour. Show those hidden tears of yours. Let yourself see the rainbow after that struggle. Pain eases when you share it with people who can feel your hurting.
I hear you. I feel you.
XP
There are people in our lives that can leave a lasting impact on us. Be it a close relative or even a stranger. There will always be someone that will indirectly teach us a thing or two about life.
I was raised by my single mother and her twin sister. Back then, I thought nothing about our lifestyle or social status. I thought it was normal to only eat rice with either sugar, salt, coffee, milk or milo as the viand. It wasn’t even a big deal to me if we had to skip a meal because we had no food. What I didn’t know was how hearthbreaking it was for my mother to not be able to provide food on the table all the time.
Now that we are somehow living much better than before, she tries to spoil us a lot. Which I do not like at all. When I asked her why she buys impulsively, my heart ached. She wanted to give us the things that she wasn’t able to get in her childhood. You see, my mom and her sister had to raise themselves. They’ve sold stolen vegetables in the market. They did a lot of sideline jobs just to feed themselves. And they had to stop their college education when my cousin and I were born.
Unlike what they experienced from their mother, my mom and aunt didn’t abandon us. They did their best to work and take care of us which is extremely difficult on their part. They wanted to make sure that we got the best out of life. And I told her that we did. She didn’t have to spoil us so much because we’re more used to living a simple life. But I do know where she’s coming from. So I added to our conversation how she can instead, help those who are in need. Just like what we did back when we had nothing but our will to help.
It’s inspiring to see how God gave them strength all those years. And someday, I want to be the one who can help them finish college and make them quit their current jobs.
My mother’s story might be the reason as to why I have such high regards for young working people. They’re the ones constantly being hammered by life’s reality at a young age. And I’ve made it my duty to motivate and encourage them to move forward. If you’re currently in the same tough situation, don’t give up. Success will always be within reach for those who don’t stop pursuing it.
Night Owl Thoughts 