The Girl Who Loves Tea

Once upon a time, there was a girl who loved all kinds of tea. From the zesty punch of citrus tea to a calming cup of earl grey. She had no idea when and how it all started. But she was certain of one thing:

“Tea’s my comfort drink.”

She’d choose tea over any other drink when she has the chance. Nothing could stop her from quenching her thirst with a freshly brewed oolong. But out of all the teas she had tasted, her absolute favorite is a hot cup of green tea with honey. A classic! The girl couldn’t figure out why she loved it. But then again, you don’t always need a reason for the things you love.

Despite her fondness for tea, the girl was still able to enjoy other drinks. Just not as much as her usual pick. However, there’s a drink that she has a love, but mostly hate, relationship with—coffee. She had clear reasons for the dislike. First was the aftertaste, she isn’t a fan. Second was the stain it leaves on her teeth. Third was how all the coffee she’s tried tasted the same. But the main reason she had was how coffee makes her heart beat faster and how it leaves a funny feeling in her tummy. Be it black or brown. That’s why she always skips it when looking at menus. Frowns at the idea of coffee-based things.

It went on for long until she met a guy. Now this guy had his preferences. On a good day, he’d go for a hot choco with oat milk. On some occasions, he tries out chamomile tea. But most of the time, she’d see him drink coffee for energy.

The girl liked the guy. He made her feel like she was sipping some pearl milk tea on a windy day. She sometimes couldn’t stop herself from dozing off when they’re together not because he’s boring, but because she feels safe enough to let her guard down. To her, he felt like peace.

The guy liked the girl. She makes him feel like everyday is a hot choco day, only a little better. He often finds himself willing to do things for her not because he likes to take risks, but because he feels that it’s gonna be worth it. To him, she felt like a prayer.

Both of them had no idea that they liked each other. Not until the guy who drank coffee made one for the girl as well.

Now ain’t that a surprise! Indeed it was!

Who would’ve thought that the girl who liked tea would find herself finishing that cup of coffee. To the last drop. The aftertaste was sweet, sweet as the gesture he made. The stain wasn’t a problem anymore, it washes off anyway. The coffee tasted different from the ones she tried before. Her heart beat fast not because of the caffeine, it was because of him. Her tummy felt funny with all the butterflies flying around.

Little did she know, the guy was overthinking whether to go with brown or black. He carefully measured how much sugar to add. She had no idea how the coffee was made but now, she’s certain of one more thing:

“I guess coffee ain’t so bad at all.”

And that’s the story of how the girl who loves tea found the guy who makes her just the right blend of coffee.

2.00

“Your grades don’t define you. “

Yeah, they don’t. But boy did it rattle me so much getting a ‘dos’ for the first time in my college life!

I don’t usually mind my grades too much before. However, now that I have a plan to do on my graduation next year, getting a 2.00 suddenly feels like I failed the whole semester. This feeling, I don’t like it. But I don’t have much choice other than to learn how to accept and learn something from this experience.

Anyway, I wrote this blog post not to rant about the complexities of my emotions right now. I wrote this ’cause I wanted to tell myself something. I want to look back at this entry next year and be comforted and reassured by 20-year old me.

Ri, congrats! You made it through college! Oh diba, ‘di ka pinabayaan ng Lord. Remember your dos last year? Did it stop you from graduating? Hindi diba, si OA ka din kasi HAHAHA I’m so proud of you. Don’t forget to thank your support system ha, they played a huge part in this success of yours. Welp, I guess you should go live life to the fullest na. Love you lagi!

I Sense You

Inspired by Steve Maraboli’s I Crave You

I still can’t comprehend
this longing I’ve felt
Since the first moment we shared
I’ve wanted to play with your hair

I remember you in the smallest of things
From stickers to bamboo sticks
From badges to ice skating rinks
From Tiktok links to Big Hero 6

I see you in the people I meet
You have my Mom’s sarcasm
You have Uno’s likable pride
You have C7’s sweetness

I hear you in the songs I listen to
OMG, Little Bit Better, Love Scenario
Polaroid Love, Nonsense, My Boo
The Feels, Sucker, What A Man Gotta Do

I feel you in the places we visited
We were at that arcade
We were at that studio
We were at that ramen house

I crave you in the purest form
I crave to see you everyday
I crave to hear your voice call my name
I crave to feel your hug after a long day

You have a new notification!

It doesn’t even take an hour before my notification box fills up with emails, messages, and other notifications that I gotta check. And being the ambiverted person that I am, it’s both a thrill and a tire to respond to all of them.

However, there is one notification that gives me a burst of energy. Kinda like how my Bible reminder and Mom’s missed calls wake me up whenever I see them.

Even before we leveled up what we had, I’ve always found myself smiling when you pop on my screen. Not because I’m easy like that but because I’ve grown fond of you. “What’s he up to this time?”, I often ask myself. You see, I get bored easily and I archive a lot of people in my inbox. But you. You always have something interesting or funny to say. You tinker with my brain in ways that fire up my neurons and you tickle my heart enough to make you linger in it for awhile.

You’re one of the few people I talk to on a daily basis. You’re one of the few people who can borrow my attention. You are my favorite notification.

Wrote Me A Poem

On the 3rd of January 2022, I wrote a prose that was meant for you.

I do that a lot. I write poems and proses for people without letting them know. But I admit, there’s always a part of me that is hoping they’d realize it’s for them. That they’d feel every word I wrote. That they’d know I’m talking to them through every piece. That was just my little make-believe.

It was a fantasy until you responded on the 23rd day of February 2024. That make-believe of mine became a reality. You said you couldn’t find the right words to write but I need you to realize that I felt every word as your piece talked to me. You made me feel noticed. Heard. Understood. Loved.

I’m glad you took your time. I’m glad you wrote me a poem.

RESURFACE

Can buried feeling resurface once more?
When the person you liked keeps coming back for more?
More time
More interactions
More unsolicited attention

It was the 7th of April 2023 when I decided to throw away the feelings I have for this one guy I’ve liked since the day his eyes lit up when I told him I watch his favorite anime series.
The reason?
Well, I figured out the person who he had a crush on that time. He didn’t really tell me and I didn’t really ask him but he was quite obvious about it online.

One thing about me is that when I know who my crush likes, I lose interest. Or more like I force myself to lose interest ’cause I know I’d only get jelly if I keep crushing on someone who liked somebody else. This routine of mine isn’t something newly acquired but for some reason, it took longer than usual to let go of my feelings for him.

Probably because we’re close friends. Or perhaps I had been in too deep with how I felt about him. Whatever it was, I had to sort my feelings out. I had to leave them some place faraway.

That place was Bicol.

I still remember that night. I waited for everyone to sleep. I waited for the resort to shutdown all the lights. I was there, sitting by the shore, under the moonlight with the waves splashing in front of me. Had a pen and the journal he gifted me from the previous Christmas.

I wrote a poem first ’cause that’s what I do best.

I envy the roar of the ocean
Always louder than the words I wanna say
Always graceful with each flowing motion
I wish the ocean waves would just wash my feelings away…

Rian K | Day 2 Bicol 2023

After that, I prayed, and cried, and sang a song of praise and of worship to ask God for comfort.

“If it’s in Your will, we’d see each other eye-to-eye in Your timing. But if he isn’t the future You have for me, I’ll wait patiently.” I said.

I really did like him that much I guess. I talked to God about him. After that day, I was able to slowly shift my view of him from a love interest to an older brother. I didn’t change how I approached and interacted with him.

I just, did it less.

That day went on until I had new crushes. One was from school, a basketball player back in May. Another was a mentor from YE’s Cluster 1 family by June, and then that photographer from Arts who, I found out on January this year, had a girlfriend. It was unusual for me to switch crushes in such a short period of time ’cause I’ve always crushed on people for years.

That’s what happened last year.
Now that it’s 2024, why do I feel like the feelings I threw at the ocean are being washed ashore?

Is it his personality?
Is it because we’re spending more time together than usual?
Or is it because the feelings which I thought I had already let go had always been inside, muffled?
Silenced. Forcefully set aside but never forgotten.

What if I do still like him?
What if he feels the same way now?
What if these buried feelings are resurfacing because the right time is coming?

I wonder what’ll happen. I’m curious what God has in store for us. But I don’t wanna force anything. I just wanna let it all flow and wait until he makes a move. Or wait if HE makes THE move.

Enemy Within

When the truth becomes a hard pill to swallow,
what do people do?
They blame. They spit out the pill and blame those around them.

They blame it on their enemies
Saying they’re always out to get them
They blame it on their friends
Finding fault on once fought friendships
They blame it on their families
Destroying blood-linked ties
They blame it on the government
Using the same worn-out cliche of Marxism
They blame it on God
Accusing Him of not caring enough

But little do people know,
man has no greater foe other than himself

That Wednesday Afternoon

It’s not everyday that I look up to the sky
But today I did
And I saw that silly smile of yours
And I met your eyes that tell me you’re up to something
Was it a joke?
Or a wise remark?
I can’t remember but what I do know is that
whenever I look up to the sky
I’ll admire how the sunlight
touched your face on that Wednesday afternoon
As you stood there talking
Beside me
Unknowingly

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